Guess What?

me: hey honey
guess what
Jeff:what?
me: i have something importatn to tell you that i CAN tell you right now
Jeff: ok but don't get me excited just to say what you always say
me: what do i always say??
Jeff: you say "guess what"
and i'm like "ooo? whats this ? something exciting that i've never heard before???"
"i love you"
"DAMN IT"
"I KNEW THAT ALREADY"
"I WANTED SOMETHING NEW"
me: well then i guess I have nothing important to tell you
Jeff: its important but when you say "guess what" i think it means you're gonna tell me something I did not previously know
honey, guess what
did you know that I like chrome?
the guess what gives you some kind of intrigue on what i'm gonna say only to tell you something you already knew
Jeff: does that not make sense to you?
me: you're no fun
fine. i'll think of something and it'll be important
Jeff: so you were going to say "i love you" just now?
me: duh
*five seconds later*
Jeff: honey
guess what
me: ooooo *intrigue what?!?!?
Jeff: SEE?
me: i was mocking you
Jeff: i had a dream last night that a plane full of nukes was about to crash into us. And we were running but there was no escape. and right before it blew up i was like "well if i'm gonna die i'm glad I get to be with you before the end."
how sweet huh
but then we didn't die because I am invincible in my dreams
so all was well
me: so sweet