A sad feeling

I took my last final this morning. Now I know that it's not official yet and I'm still actually quite nervous about it since I have to have a certain GPA to graduate (even though I have a lot of wiggle room and really have no need to be stressed about it), but I took it and I'm very excited. I'm excited to have accomplished this thing that I never thought I would do. I'm excited to have grown and learned things I never would have learned in the flow of my career at the time that I started. I'm excited about the knowledge that I now have that has opened doors to new conversations and new career opportunities.

I'm also very sad. The likelihood of me going back to school after this is very small. From now on I'm going to have learn and grow through different outlets that aren't the structure of school. Books that I choose to read, conferences I choose to go to, jobs I choose to go after. These are the ways I will continue to grow. I am now fully responsible for continuing my growth and education.

But sitting in a classroom or reading a textbook is behind me. I have no desire to get my Phd (the idea of writing a thesis is the worst thing ever). And it's a weird feeling. When I graduated undergrad, I was so excited to be done (rightfully so since it took me forever) and so focused on my new grown up job I had lined up that I didn't stop and really reflect on the lack of school in my life at that point. And when we decided that I was going to go back for my Master's, I was focused on the excitement of jump starting my career when I was done. Yet now that I'm here, the main thing I'm thinking is "what am I going to do with all this free time?" I've been working, going to school, and up until we moved, had a full social life. And now school is no longer there. It's a weird feeling.